I have so many negative qualities that were much less apparent when I wasn't sober.
Taking the road to recovery has its hardships and regaining your self-esteem after addiction is definitely an obstacle that only gets better with time. It's often easier to blame ourselves for our mistakes than it is to see how far we've come and the strides we've made in our sober recovery. Recovering addicts are working daily on trying to become better people. Even with a strong support system, some days it is difficult to see the positive qualities in ourselves, but here are some friendly reminders that can help you get through each day.
If, like me, you are a recovering addict, remember to:
Be Grateful. Gratitude is something we can be stingy about. I remind myself to be grateful, even when I have to put back a shirt I thought I had enough money to buy, but didn't. Being thankful is something that I never get tired of. It makes me feel better as a person. I also feel better when I remind others how important gratitude is. Remembering to be grateful is a wonderful habit to embrace.
Be helpful to others. I may not be a doctor, but I often find myself answering questions for concerned friends about what particular medicines may impair them or what the mystery pill at the bottom of the drawer is and if it should be thrown away. I'm often asked approximation prices of pawn shop items, which stores offer ‘no receipt returns,' and where you'll get the best payout for your gold. These may seem like unusual ways to be helpful, but the joy of being able to help someone with what I once thought was useless knowledge is quite heart-warming.
Keep in mind how far you have come in your recovery, and never forget what hitting bottom feels like. I hear so many inappropriate comments about bums on the street or people who die from overdoses. As much as I am grateful I am alive and no longer on the street, I never forget that all of that is just one relapse away. I'm not saying I hand out a dollar to every person who asks for one, but I do my best to give back as much as possible. I continue to pray for the sick and suffering and always lend an ear to anyone who asks for help or needs a friend. I do not put myself in situations where I am hanging out with old friends, but I offer my guidance if they want to make the conscious choice to get sober.
Give and receive love. Although it does take a long time to regain self-esteem or learn how to forgive and love ourselves again, once we do, it is such a relief, because we then allow ourselves to love others. Once this stage is reached, loving others just comes easy, and there is so much love to give. I feel like we can never spread enough love to others, even if it just a smile to a passerby or continuous support and loyalty to our loved ones. I wouldn't trade the ability to give and receive love for anything in the world.
Be humble and judge not, lest ye be judged. If I find myself judging someone based solely on a small piece of information or none at all, I quickly catch myself and apologize to that person--usually only in my head--over and over. It didn't take long for me to learn that humbling myself would not only help me become a better person, but feel better all around. Being humble and non-judgmental may not be a quality that is clearly visible to others, but it feels good looking for the best in others rather than misjudging someone based on little knowledge of their story.
These habitual, daily reminders certainly aren't the only positive actions we can take to stay on the right path through addiction recovery, but they are ones that are easy to do on a regular basis. These actions can be a wonderful way to start learning how to love yourself again and enhance your recovery process, without riding too high on that pink cloud. I enjoy practicing these daily "sober recovery reminders" because I think they are tools that help me to be a better person. Learning to use these tools on a daily basis is one of the perks of being a recovering addict.
Cassandra Huerta is a freelance writer who lives in an extremely small Michigan town and lives life one day at a time. She enjoys regularly entertaining her six-month-old daughter and can thank her wonderful fiance and coffee for all of her work.