When you Google the words "rock bottom," you will find a dictionary definition that classifies this term as a noun that means "the lowest possible level." When it comes to addiction recovery, the words "rock bottom" can have hundreds of definitions. This is because not everyone's "rock bottom" will be the same. If only rock bottom truly were that simple.
I know during my active addiction, I often found myself asking what my rock bottom actually was. Unfortunately, that question could not be answered by others. Every addict or alcoholic has a different rock bottom, and the variations can be dramatic. Some addicts may undergo very traumatic life experiences that signify to them that they have hit rock bottom. Some may lose their homes, while others may file bankruptcy or turn to prostitution to earn the income needed to pay for drugs. If you are at the point where you're wondering if you've hit your "rock bottom," here are three ways to find your answer.
1. Decide If You Have Had Enough
I think the number one question I found myself returning to again and again was if I'd had enough. For many of us, we continue to stretch the limits of how much pain and suffering we can sustain. For some of us, losing our homes or jobs is enough to make us realize how great a problem drugs and alcohol have become. For others, it can take losing the support of friends and family. For many, "enough" comes in the form of overdosing or selling your body for drugs. Deciding you have had enough is a matter of deciding whether you want to live or die, and what lengths you are willing to go to save yourself and get sober.
2. Make a Pros and Cons List
Weighing the pros and cons may seem like a silly way to examine the options of wanting to get clean and sober or not, but I believe you need to do whatever it takes. Some people need to visually see a list of all the consequences of their drug use before they can fully understand the pros of getting sober. A pros and cons list may not be the thing that motivates you to choose to get sober, but many times we can't see the damage we're causing until we make a list like this. We may be in the habit of rationalizing away the negative consequences of our addictions, instead of seeing our addiction as a major problem in our lives. The pros of using drugs may seem to be numerous in our heads, but on paper, they are few in number to non-existent.
3. Evaluate What Have You Gained
Addicts regularly encounter people who are incredibly belittling toward those caught in the treacherous cycle of addiction. These people may list all the reasons why using drugs is bad, but when you are active in your addiction, you don't care. Many addicts are okay with being homeless or broke, since there are many alternative ways to get money, food or anything else we need--as long as we can get our drug of choice. One question I never asked myself as an addict was what I gained from my addiction? Did using drugs gain me friends? Did I gain wisdom and knowledge? Who was benefiting from my drug use? Who was I helping?
Even in our darkest days, we addicts know there are things we want in life aside from drugs or alcohol. Bring those things to light and see if you have accomplished any of them. I wanted to be a writer, but had I published any work? Your dreams and goals are still important, but you may have lost sight of those because you've been so focused on how to stay drunk or high.
Finding your own definition of "rock bottom" is a difficult task. Though it's nearly impossible to define "rock bottom" before you get there, you sort of just know when you hit it. In a way, it almost brings you a feeling of relief to know that you've finally had enough. When I hit rock bottom, I was not only relieved but I was beyond grateful that I had found the willingness to quit before it was too late. People say you won't quit until you've had enough and, as insincere as it sounds, it's true. Search for answers inside yourself and you will find a solution, if you are willing to look at the big picture.
Cassandra Huerta is a freelance writer who lives in an extremely small Michigan town and lives life one day at a time. She enjoys regularly entertaining her six-month-old daughter and can thank her wonderful fiance and coffee for all of her work.